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Page history last edited by Elizabeth Lupu-Leica 9 years, 6 months ago

Paola K.

Elizabeth L.


 The Rules of L o v e

-Dating and Marriage-




Introduction to Dating and Marriage in India;

There may not be an occasion more momentous in an Indian person’s life than their wedding. Weddings incorporate many aspects of Indian culture, and reveal many things about social obligations, family bonds, and feelings towards traditions.

There are many interesting, unique traditions when it comes to Indian weddings. For one, arranged marriages are still the norm in India, and it is expected that family will play a large part in the marriage. Yes, love marriages do happen, but just not nearly as often. Many people of the western world may find this odd, because they believe that a marriage should be when a man and woman fall in love. However, arranged marriages are out of love, too! It’s just a different kind of love, the love that a family shows towards their child. The parents, who love their child the most in the whole world, will pick out the next person who will love them the most in the whole wide world. In a sense, it is romantic!

Now, as India is modernizing more and more, what has become of the dating and marriage rituals? Will they continue to have arranged marriages, or will they modernize and not incorporate family that much in the wedding arrangements anymore? It is a constant struggle between traditions and modernization.


The Traditional Wedding;

What happens in a wedding, anyway? First, comes the process of arranging the marriage. The girl’s parents look through potential suitors and look to find someone who matches their child in ways such as education level, religion, culture,  and any other aspects, such as vegetarianism or not. Because the bride might live with her in-laws after the marriage, in what is called a joint family, the family is also brought under close scrutiny. After the parents have found a good potential man, then the boy’s family inspects the woman as well, because women are typically thought of as to embody a family’s pride.  Once it has been decided that two people are to marry, then the actual wedding is underway. Weddings are huge functions in Indian culture, typically involving not only whole families, but entire communities as well. Wedding themes in Indian weddings are usually sweets, eggs, or money. Respectively, they each symbolize a sweet life, fertility, and prosperity. Most of the wedding ceremony includes customary rituals to ward off evil spirits, too. Also, it is important to note that red is a prominent color featured in traditional weddings, and the bride wears as much jewelry as possible. Henna staining is also practiced, and on the eve of the wedding vows, the bride will go through a cleansing with the henna. Once the wedding vows have been exchanged, the groom’s male family member showers the newlyweds with flower petals, then holds a coconut over their heads, and circles them with it three times.




Some people still like to keep their ties from back home, and make their wedding 

really traditional.

Both pictures are examples of people who kept their culture in their clothes,

ceremony and dancing.



The Modern Wedding;

Now days, people have been modernizing more and more when it comes to weddings. What they choose to change is all up to the bride and groom. Maybe people may decide to skip the arranged part, and have a love marriage instead. However, many people have decided that instead of just skipping it, they want to be a mix of modern and traditional, and may opt to still have their families pick for them, but the potential bride or groom would be much more involved in the process. Below are examples of  how some people may decide to keep their wedding a nice mix of traditional, with a modern twist.



Here, this women kept it very modern. From the hair accessories to the jewelry down the the dress.

The only thing you could say was traditional would be the henna tattoo, but still its supposed to cover

the whole forearm and she did not do that.

Adding on the the wardrobe, the venue is modern as well. They're usually held in open spaces

for everyone big family. Here they kept the colors calm and casual.


In a mix wedding, both traditional and modern, they changed a couple details, for example

the grooms dress, is a tipical american grooms suit and tie. While the bride kept the traditional

Indian wedding dress.





Mock Dialogue Between Two People, Traditional vs. Modern;

The following conversation shows a mother and daughter's struggles between whether or not to have an arranged marriage.

Mother: Daughter, you are already 26 and not even married?! Let me find you a good husband, before you turn 30 and are too old to raise a family.

Daughter: But mother, please, I want to be able and fall in love myself, and find a man for myself! I don't need you to decide who would be the best for me!

Mother: But you can fall in love AFTER you're married!

Daughter: But what if I don't live you you've picked out for me? What if it doesn't work out?

Mother: You need to trust me! I know what's best for you.


This is a video of a modern Maharani wedding. Both lovers picked a self-arranged

marriage, in which the parents did not find their partner. They still maintained the

good old India traditions from way then, but simply modernized it, meaning the

venue, food and maybe music. This is a great example of the middle world of

traditional Indian wedding with an very modern wedding.





Works Cited

"India - Marriage." Country Studies. Web. 13 May 2011. <http://countrystudies.us/india/86.htm>.


"A Modern Indian Woman's Struggle with Arranged-Marriage." New York Magazine -- NYC Guide to Restaurants, Fashion, Nightlife, Shopping, Politics, Movies. Web. 13 May 2011. <http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/culture/features/11621/>.


“Wedding Traditions in India." Wedding Traditons and Customs. Web. 13 May 2011. <http://www.worldweddingtraditions.com/locations/asian_traditions/indian_traditions.html>.

Pictures from the following source :


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